Because the unexamined life is not worth yadda-yadda-yadda: a year in review

Are you happy for the New Year?
I don't like arbitrary labels. And I'd rather not get into the semantics of happiness. Happiness is just not that simple. So I'll just say "Gummi Vites."

What will you do for New Year's?   
Watching a pyrotechnic disco ball slide down an elongated shaft, not making any sexual references whatsoever.

What year is it/will it be?   
The Year of the Awesome. Tiger, that is.

Did you make a resolution last year?     
Yes. To get horrendously jacked. Of the mind.

What is your resolution this year?   
To dress cleaner, more professionally. If my job permits, however, I'm wearing pajamas all day.

Do you ever actually work on your resolutions?   
As much as I work on my laundry—infrequently with a touch of fabric softener.

How was the Old Year?   
Enduring and at times jolting. Like a Duracell battery...hooked via jumper cables to your spine.

How do you think the New Year will be?   
I think it'll last for 365 days.

Anything you didn't get to do?
Kick a midget.

Anything you want to do? 
I think it's about damned time I learn Canon in D already.

What was the best part of the Old Year?
Cancun with Juce and Chris.

What are you most excited about for the New Year?   
Hunting for a post-college job. No, I'm not being sarcasmic at all.

Your best friend of the Old Year:   
Failure. Okay, I'm kidding. Can't say. And I'd rather not get my friends riled up about it. So I'm going to go with temporary pet squirrel Optimus-Prime-Watson-Adam.

Your favorite thing to do in the Old Year:   
Late night hookah with Adrian and Salud.

Best memory:   
I'd choose one with her.

Worst memory:   
Not having enough best ones.

Most embarrassing:   
I got completely trashed on Adrian's birthday and puked everywhere. When my friends gave me Gatorade I started puking that out. It was the first time I vomited because of alcohol. And, arguably, Gatorade.

Thing you're most proud of:   
Can't remember. Say, do you guys remember who won Battle of the Barrios this year?

Something you learned:   
Don't go wandering around the streets of New Brunswick or Jersey City alone at night.

Something random:   
A non-sequitur. And Tourette's.

What was the biggest surprise of last year?
Michael Jackson's death. And then Kanye's subsequent idiocy at the VMA's.

What was the best song of last year?
Local Natives "World News." Though Taylor Swift's "You Belong with Me" comes pretty damn close.

What was the best TV show of last year?
I don't watch much television. If I had to pick, I'd say House. Or Gurren Lagan.

What was the best book you read last year?
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. If you haven't heard of it, just buy the damn book and read it.

What was the best film of last year?
The first ten minutes of "Up."

What change would you like to make to your life next year?
I want to be more productive artistically. I've been holding back a lot—blogs, sketches, short-stories—for fear of criticism but me thinks I shouldn't give a shit so much anymore. Three or four published pieces a week?

What change would you like to see in the world next year?
World peace via nukes that detonate rainbows and butterflies. I'm actually quite serious.

Any final thoughts?
The new year is an astronomical checkpoint to which we often attach some arbitrary desires for change. This is a comforting thought and all, but come the second week of 2010, you'll probably be doing the same damn things, believing the same damn beliefs as you did last year. New Year changes are only as significant as you make them. Should you plan a goal, make it attainable. And then make it happen.

For your eyes only.